Its been a couple of days since I challenged you to take that one small step for yourself and a giant leap for all of us. Did you reach deep down inside yourself and ‘carpe diem’? I hope so. If not, I sincerely hope it wasn’t because you felt threatened—although getting knocked upside your grape with a rolling pin does smart a bit. Not that I would kno… nevermind. Let’s fast forward a bit.
The kitchen has been conquered.
Let’s look around for a moment. There are some quite useful things in here. That? Ah, that would be a kitchen knife. I would caution you not to play with it. Its sharp and just beyond your skill level. It looks like screwdriver, you say? Hmm… you might want to surprise the head chef with a nice new set of those… um… please put that down… thanks. Moving on. Those? Those are napkins. Huh? They’re used at meal… look, your shirt really wasn’t meant to wipe your mouth—This may be a bigger challenge than I thought.
The point of my bringing you here today is this—one day the head chef will be away or will simply take the night off and tell you to fend for yourself… OH MY! Are you ok? I’ve never seen anyone drop like that! Here, let me help you up.
You won’t starve!
I’ll tell you why. You have secret weapons hidden in the freezer. Trust me, until you get
your sea legs, Sailor, you’re going to need them! I am going to tell you a secret that will make your kids adore you when the head chef doesn’t clock in.
Chicken nuggets and french fries are your friends!
Think about it! They take less time to prepare than it takes to drive to Ol’ Ronnie’s place and you don’t have to drag the midgets out of the house. Here are a few tips to help you pull off the ultimate kids meal; take notes:
- Do not let your kids eat them frozen. Ever see Gremlins? ‘No matter how much they beg…’ you get the point.
- This is not a job for the microwave. They get soggy for one. For two, the insides somehow stay cold regardless of the fact that the outsides get roughly the temperature of the sun. Don’t worry about it. I don’t understand it either.
- The oven was not built by NASA. It’s very easy to use. Those numbers are the temperature setting. (Side note – increasing the temperature to broil does not work the way you think it would. Do not do this.) Also, ensure you didn’t forget any hidden Christmas gifts in there before you turn it on.
- The instructions on the bags were written by the same disgruntled lawyers that decided to package two less hot dogs than buns. These people do not have your best interest at heart. Simple math, however, will thwart their attempts to make you a failure. Simply find the temperature and cooking time in the middle of the two and go with it. Worst case, you may have to leave them in for an extra five minutes or so.
- Put an asterisk beside this one. Line the cookie/cooking sheet with aluminum foil. Even if you manage to burn the food, you won’t have to spend six hours scraping off the petrified carbon (or draw the scorn of the head chef when they see you trying to use a bench grinder to clean their good pan.)
Got all that? I’m telling you from experience, the kids may miss the head chef, but not because of the cooking. Not to mention, kids do much better when they have stable and predictable things to look forward to. As you will likely not become the next Iron Chef by accident, having one or two tricks up your sleeve will make you a superstar in their eyes. This is no dinner impossible (and my fingers are crossed that nothing self-destructs) so go forth, my friend, and do great things! See you soon.
Kitchen image used under Creative Commons guidelines. Image retrieved from https://www.interiordesignonadime.com/tips-on-creating-a-tuscan-kitchen-design/