*This post was originally published on Go Team Duncan in 2012.
For years, Brandi and I have taken time out to enjoy dinners together. We would go out when we could afford it, or stay in when we did not want to afford it. Either way, it was never about 4-star ratings, the food was somewhat irrelevant; it has just been our way of taking time out for each other. Still, we would still trade bites or even share the entire order—until it came to dessert. That is where a divide went up.
Granted, it is just dessert. Nothing that would cause a fight by any means, but there were several times when she would want cheesecake. I did not like it. I would order something different, or if we were dining in, I would buy a separate dessert from the store.
It always played out like clockwork—we would both be full from the meal and neither of us would want to finish an entire dessert serving. I would not eat the cheesecake, and neither of us was willing to let an overpriced dessert go to waste, let alone two. We always left miserable or sat on the couch wishing we had not eaten (or spent) that much.
Sometime in 2004/05, I decided I was going to solve our devilish little dessert dilemma. I was deployed, but the bright idea fairy came along with me—and she and I thought it would be an awesome idea for me to learn to like cheesecake.
It was a perfect plan! I had plenty of time to acquire a taste for it. When I got home, we could sit in dimly-lit decadence—enjoying a slice of deliciously dense divinity—with two forks and a single plate. I just knew she would love the sweet sentiment!
So, I did. The problem as I had no idea that cheesecake was a “safe food” for Brandi and our oldest daughter.
I eat like a damn Billy-goat. Very little is safe within my reach, especially sweets. If something sits around for too long, I assume no one else wants it. So I eat it. These two will leave the uneaten half of a candy bar in the fridge for six months until they have that exact craving and expect the thing to be there waiting for them. Then get mad when they find out I ate it four and a half months ago. (And I am the one at fault—naturally.)
I am not going to say it is an “estrogen” thing. Fact is, I do not know why they or anyone else does these things. All I know is I put my taste buds on the sacrificial alter for this woman, whom I adore, and I catch a ration of crap and grumbling about having to find a new dessert that I won’t touch!
That is love for you. Can you feel it?
Of course, we take this situation lightly—she was touched by the fact that I went out of my way to try and learn to do or enjoy something that she did. I do not regret my decision to teach myself to like it. It adds another thing to our relationship that we have in common.
I recommend that anyone in a relationship find ways to get yourselves on common ground. Even simple things like a shared dessert or watching the same television show make a difference in strengthening your bond. It also gives you another outlet through which to communicate. We all need that.
Your turn. Have you (or your special someone) ever done something that was intended to be sweet but turned out sour? Maybe it got even sweeter? Tell me about it below!